I’ve breastfed for almost six years.
I’ve had the privilege to breastfeed all my four of my children for around a year and a half each. I say privilege not because breastfeeding is easy or always wonderful, but because not everyone has the choice to nurse their children, so I count myself very blessed.
Breastfeeding doesn’t look one way; it can be so very different with different children even when the mama is the same. Here’s my four unique experiences in a nutshell.
When preparing for our first child, I thought breastfeeding would come naturally to me. I didn’t sign up for a breastfeeding class because I thought you just put the baby by the nipple and BAM it’s done.
I WAS SO WRONG. It was so hard! Breastfeeding was not completely instinctual for me; it was a learned art.
So my daughter’s first time to nurse I didn’t know I should make sure she opened her mouth wide to latch on properly. This meant I immediately got nipple wounds that were hard to heal, and I was in severe pain for a long time.
Even after I learned how to have her latch correctly, I was in a lot of pain from the damage done in the beginning.
I remember crying many times when my baby first started to suck each nursing session. I tried every trick to help soothe the nipple soreness and the weird “too full of milk” pain — cabbage leaves, ice packs, warm showers, pumping, nipple creams, etc.
I so clearly remember thinking: Why do people talk so much about labor when they should be preparing you for nursing?! Labor is one to two days . . . . Nursing is all day and night for weeks and months, and maybe even years!
I had to learn the art of nursing until that baby was like 85 percent full on one breast, then breaking the baby’s suction and putting her on the other breast. And I had to do remember to do that through sleep exhaustion, which side I ended feeding on, and then beginning on the opposite of that for next feeding — it may sound simple but takes time and focus to master.
After around six weeks, nursing stopped hurting and became natural. It began to be a wonderful built-in time to take a break and cuddle my baby. 
Nursing stayed easy for me except I did get a bad case of mastitis a couple months in and I thought I was dying and even rushed to the emergency room (which I wouldn’t recommend). But other than that instance and a couple other times battling mastitis, nursing was a blessing, and I was sad when I stopped. However, I felt the time was right because I was three months pregnant and felt too ill with morning sickness to continue.
With our second child, nursing was a dream. I couldn’t believe nursing could start so wonderfully. I was a little sore but didn’t need any magical creams or anything! And it felt like I actually knew what I was doing that time around.
I figured my first had been hard because my body wasn’t used to nursing. (I later learned that was wrong.)
The only issues with nursing my second were I no longer felt I could also pump milk to have the optional bottle, because I just couldn’t find the time. She also had terrible re-flux and somehow spit up what felt like a gallon of milk all over herself, me, and the floor after most feedings (but I doubt formula would have made her re-flux any better). I did try eating differently to help her, but she seemed to get better only with time.
Then our third beauty was born. I would never have guessed how terrible nursing could be.
The way my daughter sucked created HUGE deep holes in my nipples. I was bleeding all the time and crying all time. The pain was just excruciating for the first two to three months EVERY time she nursed. I tried nipple shields, coconut oil, all kinds of ointments, pain medications, and every trick from blow drying my breasts to breast shells to help my scabs get better. I breastfed in every position to find any relief — some you probably never would have imagined possible! I even fed her while I was in the bath to help me calm down and hold her more easily in different positions.
I was told our daughter had a tongue tie but didn’t feel at that time we could afford to have that problem fixed.
It was a very hard time in my life. I was exhausted (like every parent to a newborn), had two other small children to take care of, and some work responsibilities, but felt such deep convictions about the importance of nursing. I knew from experience if I could get past the initial hardship that breastfeeding would be wonderful with this baby, too.
By some miracle I made it though and things did get so much better. When I eventually stopped nursing my third, she was around 20 months old, and it was so sad and hard again.
Breastfeeding my fourth has been pretty seamless. I’m not sure if it’s been super easy or more that I just have so much going on that I haven’t had time to pay attention to any challenges for long. I did get mastitis pretty bad when he was around eight months old, because I was too exhausted and pushing myself too hard, but otherwise this nursing experience has been a complete gift. He even eats faster than his sisters, who could easily nurse for an hour at a time.
This sweet boy just turned one, and I am so grateful to be able to still be nursing him.
It’s a built in consistent time where we get to bond and cuddle in a chaotic world of three big sisters who are constantly vying for my attention. It’s also the only time my sweet boy, like his sisters at that age, are willing to be still and just let me hold them.
Breastfeeding all of my kids has come with unique sacrifices, some with large learning curves and my weeks of pain, but for me the gifts have out weighed the hardships each time.
