If ever there were two words more incongruent with each other, they would be the words “mother” and “selfish.” The number one fear of probably every mother on the planet is the fear of being selfish. And at the same time that we’re avoiding selfishness, we’re faced with the task of self-care. And don’t forget about your spouse or partner with whom you are supposed to maintain and grow a relationship. It’s exhausting trying to keep all the plates spinning.
To make this task bite-sized for you mama bears, here are five selfLESS reasons your kids should see you date.
Numero Uno: Self-Care
Your kids need to know what self-care actually looks like. Our society does not make resting easy or acceptable. With the ever-growing need to have and do more, sabbath has become a curse word of sorts. But, guess what — we need rest. Our bodies and our minds need rest. If resting doesn’t come naturally to you, chances are it won’t come naturally to your children either. They need an example. Date night is the perfect opportunity to show your kids you value turning off the requirements of life and taking time away with your beloved.
Number Two: Other-Centerdness
Your kids need to know your world does not revolve around them. This is a fine line, readers, I know, but I’m confident you will walk it well. To be clear, I am by no means saying our kids are not important or that we shouldn’t tell them how much we cherish them. What I am saying is they need to know the value you place on your spouse exceeds that which you place on them. No matter whether you were married first (or ever), your relationship with your partner came first. Your kids are who they are because of the world the two of you have created. You two have sacrificed a lot for those nuggets; they need to see you actively refilling each other’s love banks.
Point C: Babysitter Benefits
Your kids need to be away from you. You’re wonderful, mama. You really are. But your kids need a babysitter. They need to learn to respect the authority of someone besides you. Aside from that, they need babysitter stories to tell when they’re adults. Plus, I’m sure your babysitter needs the money. Boom! Selfless!
Numero Quattro: Reliability
In that same vein, your kids need to see you leave so they know you’ll come back. Listen, I’ve left for many date nights with crying faces smushed against the living room window. It’s absolutely heartbreaking, but wholly necessary. Shoot, even Daniel Tiger has a song about it, and it’s called “Grownups Come Back.” What better way to prove your reliability?
And finally (drumroll please) . . . .
Number Five: Sustainability
That is, your relationship’s sustainability! Yes, juggling all the balls is overwhelming. But here’s the thing, you guys: Your babies are growing up more and more every day. And they will continue to do so until one day those little pups are grown and packing up their lives to leave your cozy little nest. If life goes as planned, and you (both) put in the hours and effort, your partner will still be there when your babies leave. I don’t imagine you want to be reintroducing yourselves when the moving van’s smoke clears. You have to water your love flower, y’all!
There is no magic formula for how often you should date or even where you should go. I mean, maybe there is, but I don’t know it. Take a look at your budget, get some dates on the calendar, and for the love of tiramisu, DATE IN FRONT OF YOU KIDS!
How often do you go on dates?
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