There are many things I love about my kids’ childhood. The laughter, the spunk (most of the time), the budding friendships — the list goes on. But there is one thing this mama just does. not. dig. Bath time. I do not like it, Sam I Am.
It’s loud. It’s wet (duh). And it’s at the end of the day, which just so happens to be when my patience is at its absolute lowest. Sure, their feet smell like rotting carcasses. And yes, I do love the smell of clean, wet hair. But, truthfully, there are few redeeming qualities to bath time in my book.
Maybe volume level and moldy tiles aren’t enough to convince you, so if you’ll give me a few minutes of your time, I’d like to make my case against bath time.
Did you even know it’s possible to be too clean? Say whaaaaat?? Let me tell you, it is and you probably are. It’s science. Hot water dries out your skin, soap kills all the good-for-you-bacteria, and too much shampoo strips your hair of its natural oils. I know it’s scary, but if you stop washing your hair everyday, you stop needing to wash your hair everyday. True story: I shower twice a week, on average. I change my clothes daily, and if I get too sweaty, of course, I take a shower, but I really only wash my hair two days a week. Usually Saturdays and Wednesdays, if you’re wondering. Granted, I do have long, thick hair that has never needed washing every day. Even with fine hair, it’s totally possible to drop down to three days a week.
I know an early bed time isn’t on everyone’s radar. I’ve seen you sweet mamas out and about at 9:00 p.m. with your babies in tow, and I love that you still enjoy your kiddos past 8 o’clock. But as a work-at-home mom of two preschool kids, I live for 7:15 p.m., when I can sit down for the first time in approximately 12 hours, reconnect with my hubby-bub, and catch up on shows and social media with no guilt. With dinner planning and prep at 5:28 p.m., my husband getting home at 5:30 p.m., and kids
complaining about eating said meal at the pace of distracted sloths, 7:00 comes fast! Until recently, we bathed our kids every single night. My palms get sweaty just thinking of the hustle bedtime used to be. I can’t even imagine adding a full-time, out-of-the-house job to my plate. My kids might never get hosed down!
Growing up in Alabama, I still have quite a few southern characteristics. I’m loud, I love monograms, and my face cannot contain the emotions it feels. However, there is one southern woman trait I did not inherit: Silent suffering. I have tried most of my life to keep my feelings to myself (or at least to my face), but this mouth of mine just cannot keep shut. Which means when there are 10 inches of lukewarm titlewaves splashing onto my bathroom floor, the entire neighborhood knows how I feel about it. So, in an effort to maintain my sanity, a healthy blood pressure, and my relationship with my dear children, I have resolved to minimizing bath time to the most basically necessary amount.
Now that we bathe every other night (or every three nights some weeks), there’s a lot less yelling and a lot more laughter and silliness in our nighttime routine. I know for some (ahem, my husband) bath time is your jam. You’re quick and efficient and you have zero problems with the mess and the squealing. Whatever, man. You do you. As for me and mine, we’ll just be dirty.
How often do your kids get baths?