Everywhere you look online, you can find articles about the various ways having kids may strain your marriage: less sleep, more expenses, more people to wrangle, less time for each other, etc. For better or worse, kids will definitely alter your marriage. They may also change the way you see your husband.
Qualities that may have been slightly frustrating can become a saving grace. Considerate habits you always appreciated present themselves in the next generation as good manners and sweet natures. Little expressions you barely notice in your spouse are adorable coming out of a two-year-old. Kids change everything.
If you’re used to having to hurry your husband along because he only moves at one speed, while you go from zero to 60 in 0.2 seconds, there could be conflict. Add a crying child into this mix, and your nerves make the situation worse. Dad’s calm demeanor relaxes everyone.
Have you ever been bummed that you seem to need more sleep than the hubs and your bedtimes don’t always line up? Good news: functioning on little sleep is a parenting superpower.
Maybe your husband is unflappable. In an argument, that might be frustrating. In parenting, that’s GOLD. The ability to deal with a crying baby who won’t sleep, a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, and a four year old trying to negotiate a shorter timeout period without losing your cool is a hot commodity.
Do you occasionally roll your eyes at the 11th silly joke he’s told you that day? Sure. But your kids won’t. Your kids will laugh and laugh and laugh every single time and tell it to each other the next day and laugh some more.
It may always warm your heart when he asks if you need anything, or if he can help in any way. Your heart may explode into a thousand little pieces the first time your child asks you the same question, having learned it from his daddy.
Possibly you always receive flowers on a special occasions or even just as a sweet gesture. The sweetness is only magnified the first time your little boy sees a bouquet at the store and asks if he can get them for Mommy.
You hardly notice anymore when the man sitting in the car with you at the red light absentmindedly says, “C’mon light.” But you giggle every time you hear the same phrase from the back seat on the drive to the park.
No matter how well you know each other before kids, after kids, you are both different. Now you’re not just husband and wife — you’re parents. You continue to love the man you married, but you also love the father he has become.
The way he throws the kids in the air and makes them squeal. The sheer joy on your child’s face when Daddy walks through the door. The first time he closes the door on Saturday morning and whispers, “Let’s be quiet so Mommy can sleep.”
We had been married for just more than three years when our twins were born. I had loved him since I was 16, and then we had kids. Now I love him even more.