The title says it all. It has not been easy to be green lately. As a proud Baylor alum, it has been a tough month to fling my green and gold afar.
As students, most Baylor alums experienced loss after loss after loss on the football field. When I was a student, they begged you to come to games, tempted us with free admission and free pizza. As our program grew and we started to have success, these students started graduating, getting married, having children. Our kids have grown up rooting for a team that their parents are ecstatic about! My husband taught our son to answer the question, “What do Baylor Bears eat?” with “Horned Frogs, of course!” Totally friendly, totally fun (for us parents especially). And then WHAM — total mayhem!
As adults, we can listen to all the reports, speculate, and get angry. It is tough to experience. However, explaining these situations to kids is way tougher! Anyone, kid or adult, who rooted for Baylor also rooted for Art Briles.
I am not here to discuss verdict or allegations, but we alums do have to explain the absence of a great coach to our kids. Even if you aren’t a Baylor Bear, you can identify with this situation. Controversy at TCU, the Texas Rangers most recent brawl, even the Cincinnati zoo situation are all hard topics to discuss with kids. So how do you do it? What do you say?
I belong to a Facebook page of Baylor alums that live in Fort Worth. We call ourselves “It’s Not Easy Being Green in Fort Worth.” Recently, that has never been more true. I asked them how they handled this situation with their kids. The advice, tips, and suggestions were valuable and can work for explaining any tough situation.
Rules are made to be followed. Don’t we teach this idea to our kids starting at a young age? Green means go; red means stop. Rules are in place to keep us safe. When we break the rules, there are always consequences. When stories break in the media, we can all agree that we don’t always get all the facts. But sometimes it is obvious that rules were broken, and therefore, consequences must result.
Leaders are ultimately responsible. Everyone wants to point fingers and place blame. If you have multiple children, then I am sure you have heard the phrase, “They did it (finger sternly pointed at brother or sister).” We do that as adults too, maybe with a tad more subtlety. In the end, if you are in a leadership position, you will bear the brunt of the responsibility. Surround yourself with the best, but even then, you will answer for their mistakes if you call yourself a leader. This is a great lesson for kids to learn.
Leaders must protect. If you are in a leadership position, you are called to protect those around you. Firefighters, police, military, CEOs, principals, coaches, teachers are all leaders and vow to protect the people. We must teach our children how to uphold that vow if they choose leadership. That lesson can be taught in the simple act of being a big brother or big sister.
Mistakes don’t have to equal bad people. With the media today, we just cannot know the facts — for any situation. So we are left to teach our children that mistakes happen. We have to own up to those mistakes and take on the consequences. And not all mistakes are created equal. In our house, every mistake is met with an appropriate consequence. And it has to be reevaluated after each offense. But at the end of the day, we are all people that are going to make mistakes.
You are never too big to fall. It is so fun when our children look up to someone. Be it a babysitter, athlete, coach, actor, teacher, pastor — when someone impacts your kid’s life, it is special. But the flip side of that is a hard lesson. Even these same people can fall, make mistakes, hit the ground face first. It is important to teach your children balance. To look up to someone but not to idolize that person. To teach your kids that you are never too big to make mistakes. We will all make them, and we will all disappoint someone, but what you learn from those mistakes is what will shape you for the future.
Look for the helpers. Anyone recognize that phrase from Daniel Tiger? It comes from one of my favorite episodes. There has been a big storm, and the neighborhood is full of debris. Daniel’s mom and dad remind him to always look for the helpers in scary situations. I know I cannot be the only one that wishes this would be the motto of the media. Unfortunately, this is not reality, so we have to teach our children to look for them or be one themselves. Instead of choosing anger an
d ridicule, teach your kids to ask, “How can I help?”
We will still wear our green and fling our gold afar because there is so much more to Baylor than what you are reading and seeing right now. Just like you will still wear the colors of your school/team/etc. when controversy strikes. But we must teach our kids the important lessons for there to be healing.
