One of the most monumental pieces of advice I remember receiving from my grandfather was something like this: Choose wisely your faith, your spouse, your job.
Wise man . . . because we all know life can be one big heap of misery if you don’t.
Three years ago, I made one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I bought my own business, a FIT4MOM franchise. From the very beginning, owning a franchise brought (brings) me so much satisfaction. It allowed me to go to work with my children, make some extra money for our family, and also meet some of my very best friends, all while fostering a safe place for new moms (and seasoned ones). Countless times I have driven home from my “job” feeling no less than joyous.
On top of all of these things, having my own business helped me to keep my sanity.
Do you know what I mean? Having a little think tank in my house helped me NOT lose myself in the piles of laundry and endless Fresh Beat songs crowding the smart out of my brain.
And for two and a half straight, continual, non-stop years, I LOVED working from home; through the threenage years, and the toddler years, and the potty training, and the twin pregnancy, I loved it. And the thing is, I STILL LOVE IT!
I love having something that is MINE! That I work hard at. Something with tangible, here and now, results.
And while I really 100 percent saw myself doing this awesome job for 10 years or something (before ditching fitness and buying a bakery, of course), all of a sudden I knew that it was time to take a step back and pass the baton . . . not because I want to (I do and I don’t) or because I have to (I don’t), but because I needed to . . . for me, for my children, for my husband. Maybe not quite forever, but for now, right now, in this moment. It’s time to refocus. It’s time to be 100 percent present. And with four littles five and under, owning a business doesn’t permit that right now.
This womanhood thing is HARD, peeps. I’ll never be able to quite use my words to explain our desire to both mother 100 percent and work 100 percent. It’s a thing: This is the tension we feel as mothers. I have rarely met a mother who is undivided-professing feminist or not. It’s hard.
I don’t write this to say that everyone should quit their job and stay home. Not everyone should. For two and a half years, owning my own business, was THE BEST thing I could do for my family and myself and my community.
I write this to say, maybe this is your journey, too.
What I AM saying, is we have lots of hats as women. In many ways, our (figurative) hat quantity out-numbers (by far) that of our husbands. And while we can keep those plates spinning in the air, we should. But when we start dropping them, it’s time to stop spinning and reevaluate. And sistah, I’ve been busting plates all over the burbs for a couple of months, now.
What I am saying is that it’s okay to pass the baton when it’s time. It’s okay to say to someone else, “In this season, I think you can do this better than I am doing it.” It’s okay to not balance all the plates and do all the things and be all the perfect. It’s okay to just stay home with your children — as if there was ever a JUST in front of staying home with your kids. You are not a failure if you pull the breaks on a job you loved. Or sell a business you bought before you had kids. Or don’t use your degree for now.
If I have learned anything in the last five years of mommin’ it up, it’s that life is about seasons. And if we do life well, we will embrace all of our seasons with honesty, bravery, and truth, making the best decisions for NOW. Sometimes that means closing a chapter that you loved, that you were good at, that was a good chapter . . . to turn the page to the next chapter.