It’s Okay to Be an Only

5

Dear Son,

You will probably be an only child. Your father and I never intended for this to happen, but there are things in life that you cannot control. You don’t realize you are an only child right now, but one day, it will dawn on you that most, if not all, of your friends have siblings. That realization may make you feel isolated, scared, or ashamed. But fear not, your parents will teach you how to embrace it rather than fear it. We will teach you to stand up to the stereotypes and accusations that “onlys” are selfish, spoiled loners. We will teach you how to surprise people and make them say, “Wow! You’re an only child? You sure don’t act like one!”

Photo Credit: Dimples and Dumplins Photography
Photo Credit: Dimples and Dumplins Photography

We are a family. No matter how big or small, we were created and knitted together by God. He designed our family even before we existed. He will supply you with all you need to handle the responsibility of being an only child. Do not ever feel ashamed or fearful of having no siblings. Some may perceive that as different or strange — but aren’t we all?!

Allow your friends to become family. My dear son, I hope to show you the value of friendship and how to form these bonds early in life. Great friends can provide you with a constant supply of love, companionship, loyalty, and advice. You will fail each other and there will be broken friendships along the way. There will also be friends who stand the test of time. Friends who will be beside you at your wedding, congratulate you on new jobs, and know all your secrets. Friends that you will call brothers and will feel like family.

We will always be around. Yep! Sorry son, but as an only child, your parents will always be close by. You will be our pride and joy, our excuse to brag, the only reason we have the honor of being called parents. We will teach you to be independent and to make your own decisions so as to not abuse this privilege. We will fail and cross the line at times – all parents do. On the flip side, we will be there with everything we have when you need us. Day or night, your father and I will be able to give you our full attention.

It’s okay to be an only. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You are not missing anything, and you are not less than anyone. You will grow up to be a fully functional adult despite the fact that you are sibling-less. I can say this because, guess what, son? I am also an only child. My parents never treated me differently and chose to teach me selflessness, compassion, empathy, and putting others before myself. Your father and I intend to do the same.

We love you more than you know. You are an only child, and I pray that you will learn how to embrace this about yourself.

Love,

Your Mother

5 COMMENTS

  1. Beautifully written my friend. I know for a fact that C will grow up to be selfless and love others…how could he not with parents like you teaching him the way?

  2. Thank you so much for this post. As a mom of 1, struggling to conceive a second, this is so refreshing and helpful in embracing the NOW and possibly, the forever!

  3. […] It’s Okay to Be an Only — “It’s okay to be an only. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You are not missing anything, and you are not less than anyone. You will grow up to be a fully functional adult despite the fact that you are sibling-less.” […]

  4. Thank you for this. We too are facing the probability of our son having being an only child and as he has gotten older and all of his friends are getting siblings, I’ve been struggling with feelings of worry and guilt. Your perspective reassures me that he’s going to be just fine.

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