Childhood Milestones: Is Your Toddler Doing Differential Equations Yet?

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I’m writing this on the heels of removing the last baby bed from service in my home. There’s been a crib in one room or another (sometimes in two of them) for almost five years. It’s all too soon. Last week, we went to bed – all four of us – each in normal, regular-sized beds. My daughter, princess that she is, made the transition to a queen.

We moved first to the big girl bed for naps, and after two evenings of crying to sleep there at night, I caved. I didn’t even realize the last night I put her in the crib was the last night. Maybe it was best for me that way. That’s what I keep telling myself.

Here’s the deal: she was ready, and I wasn’t.

When that thought struck me, I realized how much more laid back I’ve been with her. She’s most likely my last baby. She walked late, and I didn’t worry. She’s in preschool because she cried to stay (#littlesisterprobs). I’m stressing nil over potty training. I feel blessed to have a healthy girl, and being that she is healthy, eventually she’s going to meet all of her milestones, in her own time. If I could sit down over a Diet Coke and tell you her birth story, you’d understand she came into this world exactly that way – in her own time. It’s been her M.O. from hour one. And if I’ve learned anything from her older brother, it’s that pressing a child into something he or she’s absolutely not ready for results in setbacks for everyone, with a little premature gray hair and extra frustration thrown in the mix. I have to remind myself of this all the time.

I’m not saying that you should never be concerned if you child is missing a milestone, especially if your pediatrician has advised you to be so. We have the luxury of living in a time and place where there are many specialists to help with almost any developmental struggle, especially here in Cowtown with our wonderful friends at Cook Children’s. I firmly believe in taking hold of those resources.

While I certainly don’t have it all figured out, my encouragement to you today is to stop measuring your child’s milestones by the kid next door. Just don’t go there.

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Eventually, every healthy person learns to walk. Eventually, every healthy person learns to use a toilet. Eventually, (please Lord let it be so) every healthy person learns to buckle her own seatbelt and tie his own shoes and blow that nose.

So when someone asks you — “Is little Sarah Jane walking/pottying/doing differential equations yet?” — take a deep breath and remind yourself of this: Don’t fall into the comparison trap. Sarah Jane is doing just fine, and so are you, Mom.

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