What NOT to Say . . . on a Mommy Blog

Let’s talk occupational hazard, ladies.

Doctors: long hours, blood, gore, snot, etc.

Police (people): working holidays, criminals, running, long speed chases, etc.

Fire (people): Fire.

Accountants: Math.

Moms: long hours, blood, gore, snot, running, long speed chases, math, fire, working holidays, whining, etc.

Or so I thought. But, did you actually know that the #1 occupational hazard of being a mom is . . . either being asked stupid questions by strangers OR being offended by people? According to most mommy blogs, there are certain lists that the general public should be made aware of before they ever talk to another mom again. For instance . . .

Based on my research, if you would like to tick off the average mom, you can say one of the following things to her:

• Looks like you’ve got your hands full.
• Are you going to try again for a boy/girl?
• How many kids do you want?
• Are you breastfeeding?
• Are you tired?

To a stay-at-home mom, DO NOT say the following, or she will cut you:

• So, what do you do all day?
• Do you stay in your sweats all day?
• I wish I could stay home with my kids. Rich.

Listen. Mommies. Seriously, not a week goes by without some list of things that are off limits to say, or some general complaining by moms popping up in my newsfeed.

I have news for us, as long as we are wearing cropped pants, old dudes will ask us when the flood is coming. And as long as we have children, people will ask us if we are tired because, Mama, I hate to break it to you: WE LOOK TIRED. Because we are tired, and we can’t hide it anymore. Ain’t nobody gonna confuse us for TCU girls ever ever again. It’s true.

So, some of you are thinking, I don’t write blogs; this does not pertain to me, but I ask you, are you guilty of the following:

• Complaining on Facebook about your mom, husband, or children?
• Starting a Facebook status with “Dear Lady in line at Target.”

Mommies, many of us have grown real life people in our bodies and then either pushed them out OR had them cut out. We are HARDCORE. We are strong and amazing. Surely, we can grow some thicker skin. Why are we getting so worked up that we feel the need to BLOG about strangers or old ladies (also likely moms) who offend us?

Here’s my advice:

Sleep on it. In the olden days, we wrote in our journals, which were hidden neatly under our beds. Do that. Journal. Don’t brood online.

Egg a tree. If you are still mad, write some fightin’ words on an egg and then egg a tree in your yard. I promise, you’ll probably feel better.

Have coffee with some mom friends. Vent to them and then laugh about it.

Keep some marshmallows in your purse. And throw them at people who say dumb things to you.

Forebear or confront. If someone says something rude to you, gently let them know OR forgive them and move on.

I think most of us want to raise children who are kind and compassionate, but it starts with us and how we interact with strangers and loved ones, and the blogosphere counts. Let’s cut it out the negative mommy blogs. Don’t write them; don’t share them. I mean, if Prohibition didn’t stop drinking, what on earth will our blogging lists accomplish? Stop the “What not to say to” posts.  Starting now.

If you give Anna a “hip, hip, hooray” for this positive post, then share it!