What's Yours is Mine & Mine is Yours

4

Family finances.

*cough* * cough*

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I realize this is a sensitive subject for a lot of people. When you sit back and look at the bigger picture you see our country in a state of horrendous debt. The real estate market will probably never be what it once was, gas prices are higher than ever, and jobs are scarce. Yet we still keep spending like there is no tomorrow and buying things we don’t need to fill a void. I’m guilty. I’m not going to preach it to you and sit here and act like I’m not guilty too.

As much as I moan and groan about my husband being a tightwad and having me on a leash, I’m secretly thankful he has this quality. I’m not a crazy spender, but I do spend more than he does on those $5 and $10 items that add up over time. We’ve been married over 12 years. Every.single.penny is in our computer. Every single one. When we first got married we didn’t have 2 pennies to rub together. It takes hard work and encouragement as a couple. You are a team!

I’d like to retire someday. I want to be able to put my son through college. The unforeseen future of our country and my family’s future scares me.

Figuring out how to allot for food, clothing, and miscellaneous spending budgets is important work. In our family we have what we call the pot. It’s not yours or mine, it’s ours and it all goes in one big pot. We work together towards goals and always consult each other if we want to make a big purchase. This helps us define whether or not it’s necessary or just a want. I work full-time outside the home, but my husband makes a substantial amount more than I do. Part of my decision to work is so we can live debt free and save. Every family’s decision is personal and I totally get that. I’ve often wondered how money is handled among families with a stay-at-home mom. Is there any conflict in homes where only one spouse brings in an income?

Finances are most difficult around holidays or birthdays. We have joint accounts, so there isn’t an expense that goes undetected by the other. How are you supposed to buy a gift when your husband sees the money come out of your family checking account? That ruins the surprise gosh darn it! I still haven’t figured out how to swing this one.

I know MONEY is the #1 reason for divorce in this country. It’s a horrible burden that people put on themselves, but many unfortunately dig their own debt grave by making unwise choices. As a couple, it is important to be united instead of divided by a yours and mine mentality. This is such an important topic for our marriages and families, and I am sure we all could learn from one another’s success and mistakes.

How do you manage finances as a family? Any tips/tricks/best practices that have worked well for you?

4 COMMENTS

  1. Great topic to discuss and hopefully get people discussing. I am always amazed at how many people I know don’t feel comfortable talking about finances with their spouse and that just = TROUBLE.

    Becky, we have run the gammit as far as our “pot”. When we first got married, I worked and JB was in school, then we both worked, now JB still works and I work harder (at home full time). From the beginning it has always been a big pot and we are very fortunate to have talked about our priorities and goals WELL before we married so it has never been an issue with us (as you stated it is in so many marriages). We value each of our roles in the family and appreciate what the importance of what we are each doing – working and working harder (at home).

    One thing we also always did was live off of one income (it is how our marriage started anyway) but when we had 2 incomes, we did some splurging on home remodels and vacations, but always “lived” off one income, knowing one day I would stay home with children, so we had a good cushion when the time came and not a shock to our finances or an excuse for us to not carry out our plan.

    • That’s pretty much exactly how we have thought of everything too…just because you have “extra” don’t spend it…plan ahead for the future and you are a team 🙂

      Work towards goals and you can reach them TOGETHER!

      xo Becky

  2. I love this topic Becky! We, too, live debt-free, and it’s a daily decision to do so. Sometimes it seems so easy to load up credit cards and take out loans to have all the finer things in life. However, because of our choices, I’m able to stay home, we’re able to save for ourselves, save for our girls, give, and we still manage to have plenty of fun and take vacations. I sometimes loathe the idea of being debt-free and living off a budget, but I can honestly say it’s provided a lot of peace for our family and it’s nice not to fight about money with my husband. In a very odd turn of events (since I’m so far from a numbers person), I’m the money-mangaer/budget-keeper in our house. I also do most of the spending so I guess it just makes sense! My number 1 tip is to decide on goals with your spouse and WRITE THEM DOWN. My number 2 is to make a budget, do it EVERY month, and stick to it.

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