Why You SHOULD Compare Your Life to Others — A Lesson in Positivity by a Self-Proclaimed Pessimist

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Some say jealousy is the root of all evil. Jealousy often comes from comparing your situation to others. These days, comparisons come easily, thanks to everyone putting the best version of their life on Facebook or Instagram for everyone to see.

It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and wonder why they have it so much better. But, guess what? They don’t. It’s all in how you learn to look at things. Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you to stop playing the comparison game. Honestly, I don’t think it’s possible. It’s a part of human nature. I’m here to tell you the opposite — you SHOULD compare your life to others. It can, in fact, make you a happier, more grateful person. It’s all about the perspective you choose.

I haven’t always had the perspective I have now. When we were in the NICU with our daughter, Avery, I was a jealous, comparing FOOL! I would take note of the babies that would only stay a week or so before going home. I would look into other rooms as I was passing by and compare ventilator settings and oxygen saturation rates. I was crazy with jealousy as I’d watch other babies take trips around the NICU in wagons while we were going on month five of Avery never having left her room. But then, one day, it all changed. I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was a typical week day and I was in Avery’s room in the NICU after work one day. I stepped out to go to the bathroom and saw a bunch of people in and outside of another baby’s room. There were alarms going off and equipment being brought into the room. I knew none of these were good signs. By that time, I was a seasoned veteran. We had been in the NICU almost six months.

I went home that night wondering if that baby would be okay, thankful that Avery was pretty “healthy” for still being in the NICU. I came back the next day and the baby wasn’t there anymore. He or she had passed away. This wasn’t the first death in the NICU that I was aware of, but for some reason, that one hit me HARD. My perspective changed.

Yes, Avery was still in the NICU after almost six months. But, she was still HERE. There were two parents out there in the world grieving over the loss of their child. All of a sudden, our situation didn’t seem so terrible.

That day changed me. It changed how I began to look at things and it’s continued now, more than two years later.

Now, that life is a little more normal, it would still be easy to make those same kind of jealous comparisons when talking to friends or looking on Facebook . . . 

“Her husband doesn’t work near as late as my husband does.”

“Their daughter is catching onto potty training a lot faster than Avery is.”

“She makes more money at her job than I do.”

“She doesn’t have to work.”

“They sure do go on a lot of fancy vacations.”

But, here’s the flip side of all that negativity . . . 

My husband is an incredible provider and the hardest worker I know. His dedication to our family inspires me.

Avery is happy, affectionate, and an incredible sleeper. (Score!)

I have a job with incredible benefits and one that allows me to connect with other incredible parents and children who inspire me on a daily basis.

I enjoy my job. ‘

I love just being at home with my family.

Here’s the deal. I don’t think social media is going anywhere in our lifetimes. In fact, it’s likely that it will only grow. For that reason, we will continue to be faced with these comparison scenarios. So, just go with it. Compare away. Just change your perspective.

So, tell me . . . has something happened in your life to change your perspective? 

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Kelly
Kelly and her husband, Shawn, are both Fort Worth natives and proud parents to their eight-year-old daughter, Avery, the inspiration behind many of Kelly’s articles. In her time as a mom, Kelly has become an unofficial expert on the NICU, autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and global developmental delays. She’s an open book about their experiences and is always happy to talk to other moms looking for guidance or just another mom who gets it. After being in corporate marketing for almost 20 years, craving more flexibility and time with Avery, she founded 314 Marketing Solutions (www.314marketingsolutions.com) in 2019, a full-service boutique marketing agency. She considers herself an expert in multi-tasking and counts her car as the main headquarters for her business, regularly switching being a special needs mom driving to and from multiple therapy appointments, activities, and business owner.

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