Passionate About Fort Worth
and the Moms Who Live Here

What I Learned from the Daunting Days of Early Motherhood

homeNo matter how you cut the dice, being a mom of a toddler and an infant is a HARD season to navigate. Through the tears and triumphs of those early years, I learned so much about what it takes to really give your all to something.

I learned what sleep deprivation really feels and looks like. I learned that when I said I had no “me time” when my only child was a toddler, I actually had all the time in the world. A toddler AND a newborn, though . . . that life . . . that season gives a new meaning to NO time. I also learned that “me time” isn’t a selfish phrase coined by the vanity of oneself, but instead it is that time in a day or even week where I can be ME — not the household chauffeur or jungle gym or the woman who cooks and has cleaned the house 19 times today or has an audience in the bathroom. It is just a private time for me to love the person that I am aside from my duties. 

As my children grow, I have learned that it is really hard to be the axis of everyone’s universe in your home. I’ve seen my patience tested in ways that I didn’t think were possible, and I have admittedly failed the test almost as many times as passing it. I learned to ask for help and quit trying to think I can do it all, because truth be told, I can’t. Asking for help isn’t a weakness, but an absolute necessity.  

Many of those {im}patient times of mine are sometimes rightfully failed tests. I’ve learned that my child is learning lessons when she hears “no” a little more than she wants and even though sometimes I want to scream, “yes,” the lesson is in the no. I’ve learned despite my failures, she watches everything I do, and she still wants to be me, even when I fail. 
 
I’ve learned that perspective is key. When I wake up with an attitude of TODAY IS GOING TO ROCK, it will . . . even when the smoothie busts all over the floor, no one can find their shoes, and the toddler has hidden my spare set of car keys. Those days where I wake up and say, “WHY ARE THEY ALREADY AWAKE,” and stomp out of my bed are inevitably the worst.
 
Having two kids under three taught me that being selfless is so much more rewarding than being selfish. My children have taught me that my inherently selfish nature is slowly diminishing, and as it does, my days become brighter and more fulfilling. Being selfless doesn’t mean it’s okay to live an unbalanced life. In those younger years especially, it was so difficult to balance time between chores, family, husband, friends, and the to do list, but recognizing the need for it was life-changing. I’ve learned that not every day I am as selfless as I was the day before, but every week I am less selfish than I was the week before.
 
Those hard years showed me that my husband is the most hardworking man I’ve ever known. I’ve learned that it isn’t just me making daily, hourly sacrifices but him as well. I’ve learned that we love in two different ways and that a marriage under stress can still be beautiful with Christ as the center. I’ve learned that both of our jobs are equally important in this game of life. He is rewarded financially; I am rewarded with heartfelt cuddles and kisses all day long.  I think I win.  
 
The exhaustion of being a mom comes sisterswith the absolute BEST reward ever. There is nothing more precious in this world than cuddling my babies every morning.  Being the axis of everyone’s universe is HARD, but worth every ounce of sweat, every headache, and every trial.  I’ve learned that the hard times yield the most incredible results. The early years of parenting taught me that life isn’t about the BIG things, but it is ALL about the small things: pancakes in bed, running through sprinklers, painting on the concrete, snuggles and nightly books. 
  
Seasons come and seasons go and my life is what I make of it. I think about the days before fall arrives. The leaves are changing and trees becoming bare, but come spring, inevitably they will be given new life and will bloom with more beauty than the world can take in. Same with the seasons of our lives.  No matter how tough or exhausting the season, it will end and new life will bloom.   
 

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