In just a few short years, I will join my friends in their 40s. I am cheerfully looking forward to it. My boys are school-age now, and my family dynamics have shifted. Growing older has given me a new sense of maturity, freedom, and priorities. Less time and energy is spent on many frivolous cares I had before because I have more confidence. There is something endearing and special in aging. One of the best parts for me so far is the increase in saying “No” and “I simply don’t give a flippity-flip-flop” about whatever may be crying dramatically for my attention. I am becoming more and more of a “No Drama Mama.”
Drama comes in many forms; however, it often comes to mothers in the disguise of the opinions of others. Self-imposed and no fault of anyone’s but my own, I used to spend way too much of my SAHM life concerned with the thoughts and opinions of others. In hindsight, why did I care so much about what someone thought of my decisions, my family, and my home? I can’t please people, and — newsflash – they can’t please me. After disastrous misunderstandings, misfits, and mistakes, I remember the day I looked to the sky, threw up my hands literally, and said, “Lord, I am done.”
Ain’t nobody got time for fake friends, people. As I age and mature, I realize I have no room for what many of my younger mom friends call “mean girls.” Been there and done that. Mean Girls is more than just a movie featuring Lindsay Lohan. Mean girls are real women who will exclude, judge, and compete when there’s no competition. Who needs the pressure of dealing with such gals, or even family and strangers for that matter? How exhausting. As I age, I intentionally bow out of the circus. Fretting over it all steals away precious time and energy from my family and me.
Often when we are just starting out in motherhood, the insecurity and unique pressure we feel in personal areas cloud our vision and hinder our progress as women. Before we know it, we have given days away to overwhelming emotions and uninspiring people. Aging provides room for identifying these areas and experience in creating productive resolutions.
Life is short. Motherhood is a journey. Walk with no regrets. Never underestimate the power of personal peace pursued. Our babies are small for just a short time. It feels like forever some days, which is all the more reason not to let anyone suck life out of you. Allow people into your circle who inspire you to do your best and create space for you to be your best. Celebrate the successes of all mothers. Let go of the comparisons. Build your family. Above all, DO YOU. Every mother on the planet has something to give, something to celebrate, and something to learn.
Bye, drama, good-bye!