The little guy that made me an aunt has turned into a not-so-little young man who graduated from high school in May. And that momentous occasion, plus a lot of all-too-rare quality time with my niece and nephew, got me thinking about the differences (and similarities) between being an aunt and being a mom.
Obligatory disclaimer here: This is from my own personal experience as an aunt and a mom. I became an aunt first–at 17 and again at 20–more than a decade before having my own children. My niece and nephew were also raised a long distance from where I lived, so I recognize that those who are more involved in each others’ day-to-day lives might have different experiences.
All that being said, there are a lot of perks to being an aunt. A lot.
You can give them the loud toys, spoil them with clothes and books, and feed them ice cream for dinner. You can be the fun adult.
And when you don’t have kids of your own, their antics and escapades are nothing but amusing. If they’re crying, you can hand them right back to Mom or Dad. And, as they get older, you get to be their friend. You don’t have to be the disciplinarian.
On the other hand, while you might not get as much of the hard stuff, you miss out on a lot of the joy, too. You don’t have to deal with late night feedings, but you don’t feel the thrill of carefully putting that finally sleeping baby in the bed and tiptoeing out of the room with a big goofy grin on your face.
As someone who was an aunt first, though, I’ll say there is no better way to practice for your own children. From changing diapers to figuring out how to feed a baby with a bottle to helping a toddler wash hands, I was able to experience parenting-lite. Since I wasn’t around many kids otherwise, my aunt-ing experience helped me not be completely under-prepared and overwhelmed when my own two came along.
My brother and sister-in-law have also provided me with great parenting models. Over the years, I have watched how they handled everything from discipline issues to education decisions, and I’ve peppered them with questions since I found out I was going to be a mother. It’s been so great to have people who have gone ahead of me on this path who are willing to provide insight and answers to my endless stream of questions (as well as loud toys, clothes, and books for my own kids–guess who gets to be “the fun ones” now).
The thing I realized most recently, however, is that the fierce love, loyalty, and pride I felt as an aunt came bubbling right back up when I became a mom. I care just as deeply about all four of these kiddos’ interests, activities, and futures. For my nephew, my niece, and my daughters, I’m “all in.”
Are you an aunt? What are the similarities and differences between being an aunt and a mom in your family? We’d love to hear about your experience?
