I am expecting my third child; and more than halfway through this pregnancy, I still have moments of “DANG, I forgot about THIS part!” So for you first time moms (or maybe ones on a repeat trip who have forgotten some things) here are some warnings and tips of how to deal with the not-so-pretty parts of pregnancy.
1. You feel like a sex goddess and a beluga whale all at that the same time. My A cups have never been so voluptuous, and I love my new curves (and my husband does too). Hormones are raging giving most women an increased libido, but then you walk by a mirror naked as you get in the shower and do a double take. Your shirts are stretched to their max and you can’t imagine anything more unattractive than your distorted body. The good thing? Your husband doesn’t see the extra cellulite or stretch marks. He is excited about that baby on the way, but he doesn’t think about it when sexy time hits. So get over yourself and your bump and get back to it. This is a time you might actually be able to get more spontaneous and creative in the bedroom so embrace it! Figure out what works and enjoy!
2. You leak. I will just say it: If you thought you were going to have 9 months of never having to put a panty liner in your underwear, you are wrong. Things are going on down there that I won’t completely get into, but I do want you to know that all that oozing is NOT your water breaking at 15 weeks. And dangit, don’t we all hate those sneezes that sneak up on us! Also, just because baby hasn’t come yet doesn’t mean your boobs won’t show a little readiness. Towards the end of your pregnancy (especially if it is not your first) you might start noticing some leakage up top as well. Accept this as part of the process of your body readying itself. Buy a box of panty liners and some breast pads (I recommend the washable ones) and embrace that your body is preparing to feed that little one. Also, DO YOUR KEGELS!
3. You itch. This is especially true, I have found, during winter pregnancies. The skin is stretching (and dry in the winter months) and your belly and boobs itch like a crazy SOB. I have to constantly resist the urge in the grocery store to stick my hands down or up my shirt to relieve the itching. I recommend LOTION, LOTION, LOTION. There are lots of them out there and many say they will even help with stretch marks. I used Burt’s Bees Belly Balm (I liked that it was natural with low ingredients) during my first pregnancy, but for the last two times, I have just used what is in my cabinet, making sure to lotion up immediately after getting out of the shower. Also moisturizing body washes and not taking too many frequent long hot showers helps as well. If you are on a repeat trip down pregnancy lane and have little ones who observe your bathing, like me, the long hot showers part isn’t a problem you probably have.
4. You are irritated, a LOT. People talk about crazy hormones. It definitely is true, but you know what often keeps me irritated? My clothes. You hit a phase where regular jeans are WAY too tight but maternity jeans are too big. You spend the day either feeling miserable and constricted or having to hike up and re-adjust your pants every five minutes. Either way it puts you in a bad mood, so you just start wearing your husband’s clothes and then you don’t feel any better when you look in the mirror. I know you hate to spend money on a wardrobe that will be so briefly used, but it can be worth it to find a few cute tops and a pair of good fitting jeans (Gap Maternity and Target are my go-to’s for maternity clothes). Also borrow from friends, and when you are done and see your bestie wearing her husband’s shirt, remember to offer to loan her some of your cute finds! Buy leggings and comfortable clothes but make sure it is also stuff you feel good in. Irritation also comes from idiotic comments from strangers and family, all the aches and pains that plague your body and general annoyances in the world that seem WAY worse while you are growing a human. Take time to yourself. This is important pregnant or not, but it is much easier NOW to find time than after that little one arrives. Make sure to keep up exercise (a great stress reliever). If you don’t have a normal exercise routine, START WALKING NOW. I did a ton of walking with my first two pregnancies and swear it is what helped with my smooth deliveries and recoveries. Eat right and go to bed earlier; you need more nutrition and sleep during this time. Don’t deny your body of that.
5. You get backed up. Yes, everyone knows you are tired and get behind at work and doing things around the house, but I am talking about something more serious–constipation. It is the real cause of the sudden 5 lbs you gain between your 8 and 12 week appointment, and it is no joke. In addition to all the advice to eat greens, prunes, and down the apple juice, I advise you to just go ahead and put MiraLAX and a stool softener in your cabinet. MiraLAX is good stuff–not a diarrhetic. It just pulls water into the bowels (so in order for it to work you have to drink a lot along with it; another reason you might be headed to the bathroom more). It is also what pediatricians commonly prescribe for babies/toddlers as it is safe but effective so might as well already have it on hand for future use. Stool softeners are CRUCIAL after birth. If they don’t offer one after you deliver, ask for it! You will want to send me a thank you note and flowers for this advice, believe me!
6. You forget things, including pregnancy symptoms. It takes me three times walking out the door to actually get in the car, and then sometimes I have to circle back through the neighborhood to make sure I closed the garage door. But that is not the kind of forgetting I am talking about. Just like people say you forget some of the pains of labor and delivery, I can attest that I forget about the pains of pregnancy. Around 12 weeks pregnant with this third child, I was laying on the couch feeling like I was dying (my morning sickness is severe with all day vomiting). I told my husband, “THIS WILL BE THE LAST CHILD I WILL CARRY IN MY WOMB!” Now just a mere 15 weeks later I will whisper a “Well, maybe I could do this one more time.” You start to feel those little kicks and rolls, and the rolls and surges of morning sickness fade just a bit. And then finally you hold that precious baby in your arms and all these things have faded away.
What not-so-pretty side of pregnancy surprised you? Any tips for our moms-to-be?
Amen to being irritated. I should probably add that I was irrational too. I remember someone who was due after me who HAD THE NERVE TO GO INTO LABOR BEFORE ME. I was really and truly ANGRY about it. And ironically enough, I went into labor the very next day and we were in the hospital together.Not my finest moment and something I can laugh about now.