Can Moms Be Sexy?

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Tonight at dinner my husband told me I’m sexy.

And my three year old repeated it.

And just like that, a compliment that would ordinarily make my day made me feel something entirely different. I blushed and cringed and thought about scolding everyone and sending them to their rooms before immediately changing into sweatpants.

This is less of a blog post and more of a conversation starter.

I was raised pretty conservatively. “Sexy” wasn’t an adjective that we carried around in our satchels. We preferred kudos for being wholesome and well rounded, and I had the eyebrows to prove it.

My Senior Year. Seriously, why did no one tell me?!?!
My Senior Year. Seriously, why did no one tell me?!?!

As a result, even in my college years when other girls my age were switching out their Doc Martens for high heels, I stomped around clumsily and wrote about the “other” girls in my prayer journal. When other girls saved their money to sneak around and try wine and nibble on fine cheeses, I hid in my dorm room and ate Doritos and drank ungodly amounts of Mountain Dew.

True story.

I had my fair share of less-than-healthy relationships in my early twenties, many of which made me feel super appealing, at least momentarily, before they’d end disastrously and send me running back to my Doritos.

But “sexy” was never a word I felt comfortable in.

Cute? Sure. Pretty? Occasionally. But sexy? Man, that’s a stretch . . . 

At the risk of being vulnerable if not entirely vain, I’ve felt a little more alluring lately. Two kids in, I know this body of mine in ways I never knew possible. I’m fit, healthy, and just altogether more at home in my own skin than I’ve ever been.

That said, I also have these lines that have been forming around my exaggerated smile for several years, and I have these white-ish hairs crowning far sooner than I expected. It seems a shame that effortless good looks are wasted on youth. They should, instead, come as a reward for a life well-lived.

I digress.

The Victoria’s Secret catalog came in the mail last week.
The swimsuit issue.
In February.
Swimsuits in February are depressing no matter who you are.
Victoria’s Secret swimsuits in February make me want to splash around in a tub full of scissors.
Or eat Doritos.
Are you seeing a theme?

I threw it away and made a mental note to cancel the subscription (although I’m not entirely sure how I ended up with a subscription to begin with).

No judgment if you can squeeze your post-baby bodies into those bathing suits, but I’m concerned that even if I got into one of them, I would NEVER be able to get out.

I’m no prude. I even wear two piece suits without apology now that I’m a grown up (gasp!) But I certainly don’t want my men (my husband or the tiny humans we’re raising) thinking that the women in that catalog are some kind of standard by which to measure beauty.

Raising boys can be a daunting task both if we take it too seriously, or if we don’t take it seriously enough.

It’s imperative that they know that beauty can wear a sweater as easily as it can a bikini, because it isn’t about the amount of skin that shows or the provocative way it stands.

Beauty is a light in her soul.

A smile on her face.

The weight of her dreams.

And her ability to live fully in the everyday.

Or as one of my favorite poets pens,

Unknown

 

 

According to Webster, “sexy” is defined by “having interesting or appealing qualities.”

So can a mom be sexy? Some of the most interesting, appealing people I know are the women who’ve grown up and through and around all of life and its trials and triumphs and scares. The women that know how to get up in the morning and do what needs to be done. Women that have been stretched and scarred and can still find it within them to nurture, and cuddle, and coo.

Interesting and appealing indeed.

How sexy do you feel now, mama?

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Jody
Jody hid in the hills of Missouri until her husband, Caleb, rescued her and made her a Mrs . . . at least that’s the story he tells. A mere four years in and they’ve added a brilliant, big-hearted boy, Jude(2010) and an equally endearing, Oliver(2013) to their family. Still pretty amazed at the fact that she grew too tiny humans when she can’t even keep a rubber tree plant alive, Jody recently stopped traveling with a ministry conference team to stay at home and rough and tumble around with her boys. She loves Jesus, coffee, and big sunglasses, and keeps her inner gypsy alive by traveling whenever she gets the chance.

3 COMMENTS

  1. I’m with you, somehow more comfortable in my own skin than ever, yet not ever feeling the need or desire to show more of it…beautiful post, Jody. And someday we’ll finally get around to talking about our tummies!

  2. Hey Jody, it’s Anna’s friend Kim that you met at CFA today. Love this post! Love the senior year eyebrows too. And what a great hubby for telling you that in front of your boys–that’s a great example for them to see their dad adoring their mom!

  3. Totally love this post! An old friend of mine from highschool was just telling me today how sexy I am because of who I am. (He did add the fact that I have a great body was just a bonus…) 😉

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