Thoughts on Co-Sleeping

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cosleepIn my pre-children days, I had a long list of things I said my children would never do. Never take a paci past two, never throw fits in public, on and on and on. Oh how you so eat your words once you become a parent!

Pre-children, I didn’t even know what “co-sleeping” was, much less how “touchy” of a subject it was between moms. I often saw the term pop up in whatever parenting book I was reading or mommy blog I was stalking, but if you would have told my husband or me that we’d be co-sleeping with our kids, we would have very confidently said “yeah right!” We totally thought we had this parenting thing figured out.Β Then our first-born came along and we quickly found ourselves with a sweet newborn who honestly slept pretty well – until we hit the six-month mark.

It was time to move him out of his pack-n-play in our room into the crib in his room, and little man just wasn’t having it! He cried, I cried, no one slept much, and being two full-time working parents we did what any other rational, sleep deprived, new parents would do…. we put him right between us in our bed.

And guess what? HE SLEPT! And slept and slept and slept. He would wake up for his middle of the night feeding and then instead of spending the next hour or so trying to get him to sleep in his bed (those nights were rough), we would all three just go right back to sleep. It was glorious and it just worked for us!Β My oldest slept with us until he was about two and a half and then we moved him into his room in preparation for baby brother’s arrival. The transition wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be.

In all honesty, I’ll admit that I loved co-sleeping with my son. As I mentioned before, my husband and I both worked full-time and seeing how he was spending more time at daycare than with me during the week, the time at night providedΒ hours of time I got to spend with him, and I felt like I was bonding with him,even while sleeping. In the grand scheme of life those two years were a blink in time. I’ll never again be able to sleep and cuddle with him the way I did when he was a baby. Β For that reason I quickly let go of any judgment that may have come my way. Life is too short to worry about what people think of you and how you parent. My son is five now, has been sleeping in his own room for almost three Β years, and that sweet moment in time is gone.

And hey, if Brad and Angelina co-sleep with their whole slew of kiddos, it must be cool to do right?! Ha!

If you are thinking about co-sleeping with your littles, or currently do co-sleep, there are some important benefits and safety precautions you should know.

Benefits of Co-sleeping

  • Both parents and babies get more sleep
  • Breastfeeding during the night is easier when your baby is nearby, and can also help mom maintain milk supply
  • Fewer bedtime battles
  • No nighttime separation anxiety

Safety Precautions for Co-sleeping

  • Make sure you are sleeping on a firm mattress – no waterbeds, beanbags, sheepskin, or other soft surfaces
  • There should be no loose pillows, blankets, or stuffed animals near the baby’s face.
  • Baby should be placed on his back to sleep.
  • Eliminate any cracks or spaces (between headboard, etc.) where baby can become trapped.
  • Do not place baby to sleep in an adult bed alone.
  • Do not sleep with baby if you are a smoker (or smoked during pregnancy).
  • Do not sleep with baby if you are overly tired, or you have consumed alcohol, sedatives, or drugs (or if for any reason you are less aware).

Tips adapted from kellymom and KidsHealth.

Do you co-sleep in your house?

 

13 COMMENTS

  1. We don’t co-sleep at our house and I must say I chuckled at the “benefits” where it said everyone gets more sleep because I still have problems after almost 10 years of marriage with my wiggly husband sleeping beside me.

    Tara- I am going to ask a personal question and you feel free to answer or ignore. I have always wondered – how do people who co-sleep find intimate time with their spouse?

  2. Tara, my experience has been almost exactly the same so far. My son would not sleep at all until one desperate night we put him in our bed and he slept all night…that night and the next and the next. His crib now serves as nursery decor. He is almost 9 months old and the crawling is taking off, so I now have this pang of anxiety that I need to put him back in his crib for safety purposes. The thought makes me so sad and I am really battling with it. I, too, feel like I get precious extra time with him by co-sleeping that I will not get otherwise.

  3. This is an interesting topic for sure! I have several friends who co-sleep, but it was not a good choice for us. Since my old house came with two rooms joined together with a door, it worked great for my wee one to start off in her crib. She’s a great sleeper too (THANK GOD!), and now loves to play in her room by herself when she gets up in the morning. It’s really hilarious. If you come up too “soon,” she says, “Not yet, Mom. Not yet.” Never a dull moment.

  4. We never officially co-slept in our house, but as babies, both girls spent plenty of time in bed with us. My youngest much prefers her bed, and it sometimes makes me sad. I have some great memories of snuggling in bed with my oldest sleeping next to me!

  5. We didn’t co-sleep, but my oldest would sleep with us when he was sick and I secretly loved it. My youngest HATES sleeping with us. I shouldn’t even say sleeping, because she doesn’t sleep at all!

  6. Jack slept in a cradle next to our bed for the first 4 months and then I put him in his bed. There are night he would get up to feed and I’d lay him next to me and we’d both fall asleep. But yeah, we went through a couple of days of crying and then he learned. We had to be strong and it’s led us to a fairly good sleeper. NOT saying that you weren’t strong for co sleeping. But I’m just as stubborn as my 2 year old and some things need to be off limits to him. πŸ™‚

  7. I love the point you bring up about being a full time working parent. We do not currently co-sleep, but I have been fighing some stong urges to go get my 5 month old son out of his crib and bring him to bed with me when I get off work in the early AM hours. The only thing stopping me is the fact that he has so easily transitioned to his crib, and bedtime is a piece of cake at our house. I feel like I miss so much time with him though, being a full time working Mom. I hate I am not there at bedtime to put him to sleep more than once or twice a week. Although I am grateful that we were able to adjust my husband’s hours so that he is able to stay home almost exclusivley with our child, I often get jealous and feel I’m missing out on a precious time.

  8. Hi Lexi! I totally see your point…if mine would of transitioned to their crib with ease, then we for sure wouldn’t be co-sleeping! That is a gift!

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